14 things a man can do at a department store... While his wife is taking her sweet ass time
1.get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they arnt looking.
2.set all the alarm clocks in home-wares to go off at 5-minut intervals.
3.make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the ladies rest-room.
4.walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone:'code 3 in house wares!' and see what happens
5.go to the service desk and ask to put a bag of m&ms on lay-by.
6.move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7.set-up a tent in the camping department --and tell other shoppers you're sleeping over; invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
8.when a clerk asked if the can help you, begin to cry and ask: 'why cant u people just leave me ALONE!?!?!?!?"
9.look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose
10.dart around the store suspiciously, while loudly humming the theme from 'Mission Impossible.'
11.in the auto department practice your madonna look using different sized funnels
12.hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through say 'PICK ME! PICK ME!!
13.when an announcement comes over the louudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream ' NOOOO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!!!!'
14.go into a fiting room, shut the door and wait a while, then yell loudly: 'THERE'S NO TOILET PAPER IN HERE!!!'
Holden Gallery
